“I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.” ― Veronica Roth, Allegiant
As I sit here writing this, I'm sipping on some LavAzza coffee in our local gym while Evie hangs out with the teachers she loves in child care and I am continually distracted by the spinning of the ring on my finger and the thought that my husband FINALLY comes home tonight.
I can't believe it's already been three years, and I can't believe that it's only been three years. So much has changed so quickly. Three cities, two apartments, and one house have been our home since marrying. We've gone from a family with one puppy to a family with two dogs. And we've done the most amazing thing ever: somehow, we made a perfectly beautiful little human being, whose smiles and laughs give us joy in ways we didn't even know we were missing.
I've said this in my previous anniversary posts, but I waited a long time to find the right man. Or, at least, it felt long to me. My (younger) brother was married for over five years before I met the man I would marry. My closest girl friends clocked multiple anniversaries while I remained single. But, while I wanted to be married, I was happy alone, which I think was key to finding someone I could partner - and someone who could partner me.
At this risk of sounding cheesy, G was worth the wait, and I would wait again, and again, and again, to be the wife of a man that I can love, respect, and trust the way that I do. G isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. Our marriage isn't perfect. But we have been so blessed. God knew what we each needed to feel safe, to feel loved, to be accepted, but to also be challenged. G loves me for who I am but encourages me to become who God has called me to be.
I think the best, and hardest, thing I've learned this year is that love is a constant choice. I choose G when he's on his A-game. When everything he says and does is perfect and our world is so full of happiness I could burst. I choose him when I'm tired, and no matter what he says or does, it's irritating. I choose him when we're fighting, and I'm angry, and all I want is to pack up and run away - to escape. I still choose him, and choose to stay, and choose to walk through the frustration. Because I chose to love this man forever three years ago today, and I choose him again, each and every day, and will for the rest of my life.
(Happy Anniversary, Baby. Three going on forever)
